An American, a paraplegic and a custom's officer walk into a post office.

Houses in my city do not have addresses.  This is not unique to my city, but true in most cities and villages in Jordan, with the ever excepted exception of Amman.  To find a physical residence, one must rely on a narrative description of the location, accompanied, sometimes, with a touch of personal information about one's self.  For example, our physical address is, "The southern neighborhood with mostly Ahlaimats (a family name), the tall house across from Father Ahlaimat's gas can store."  Though, you would do just as well walking as far south as you can before hitting the main highway and shouting, "WHERE THE WHITE PEOPLE AT?"  You'd find us.

This lack of sleek, efficient street naming and house numbering presents a problem for those of us that would like to receive mail.  There is no trust in, "The American Couple that live in The South Neighborhood" on a package, and the people at FedEx probably wouldn't appreciate it.  The solution is, on the surface simple, but when played out, somewhat of a cultural exchange experience.

1. Opening a post box.  
1. To open a post box, please present your passport or residence card to the nearest Post Office.  The Post Office opens at 7am...opens at 8am...opens when we employees get here...after tea.
2. The cost for opening a post box is 12JD...14.50JD...18JD.  Where are you from again?
3. Please provide you name.  Please be prepared for confusion if your given name also happens to mean "I" or "me" in Arabic.  Please do not try to explain that your name is not "Me Bricker."  Please hold for laughter.  Please hold while we explain the joke to each other.  Please present your passport again.  Please hold while we pass your passport around and chuckle that your name means "I".  I am I.  I am me.  We invite you to take a moment to engage in an existential melt down.
2. You've Got Mail!
1. To receive an alert that you have received a package please provide your phone number, we will call you.  We will speak in a language you do not understand.  We will try our best to be accommodating.  We will try.  We will then tell you your Arabic isn't good enough.
2. Your package is available for pick up between the hours of 11am and 11:30am.  The term "hours" is used loosely.
3. You may be charged a fee, at 12.5% of the determined value of the items in the package.  You may be charged nothing because you have been honing your postal wasta since you discovered you need postal wasta.
1. Postal Wasta: (n) Influence or social pull with postal workers.  Often increased by means of candy and blondness.
4. Upon arrival to the Post Office at 11:15am, you will be told to wait 10 minutes...20 minutes...25 minutes.
5. Please proceed behind the counter.  Collect your package and follow the paraplegic Post Office employee down the dark corridor, past the bathroom, to the left, to the right, past another door, through two men smoking and into the dark room with the ripped couches and the custom's officer behind the desk.
6. Please open your package and explain what each item is, and what it is used for.  Is it expensive?  Why is your mother sending shampoo?  Does she know there is shampoo here?  We have shampoo.
7. Please present your passport.
8. Sign here.
9. And here.
10. Initial here.
11. Share your marshmallows.

See, just two easy steps.